Sounds like some audio that was meant to be cut is instead playing in the background, maybe the original recording. What I assume is the final cut (the polished-sounding version) is at normal volume, but quietly, in the background, some pre-show mic checks can be heard, leading up to the intro (repeated) at 00:59s. The problem persists for the entire duration of the episode. This is the iTunes version. Track doesn't seem to exist on Soundcloud yet.edit: Actually, 3MA has had this problem before, though not this bad. On a couple of past episodes there have been short periods where it sounds like different speakers' audio tracks have gotten out of sync. There will be a period of a minute or two where they're talking over each other, answering questions before they're asked, etc.

• Things You Are Not Allowed To Do
• Things Xcom Is Not Allowed To Do
• Things Xcom Is Not Allowed To Download

Before it all snaps together again. I've done some podcast editing, so I understand how easy it is for mistakes like this to happen, especially with a complicated workflow. Keep doing what you're doing; the podcast is great! Audio's good here.I'm a few minutes in. The argument being made that XCOM EU was some sort of paragon of identifiable strategic goals compared to XCOM 2 being a spaghetti mess is, not to be too hyperbolic, a hilarious heap of rose-tinted bullshit.XCOM: EU didn't encourage experimentation and learning about the strategy layer, it demanded you know its systems or you would fail. It demanded multiple restarts from the average player to figure their base out.

I'd put myself in that bucket, average at very best. It compounded that by not letting you pull through by being a brilliant tactician. You could perform flawlessly on missions, but if you didn't have your base figured out you'd lose as the planet started abandoning you. However, once you knew how the strategic layer worked, if you started getting good dice rolls on your missions you were set. I don't yet know if XCOM 2 will allow you to win by sheer force of tactical expertise, but so far I've managed to bumble through what feels like an awful lot more of the game strategically because I'm winning a guerilla ground war.I love XCOM: EU, but the assertion that it onboarded you into understanding the strategic layer smoothly is the literal opposite of the experiences of me, everyone I know, and basically everyone online whose voices I heard who got their hands on the game. It was brutal because you didn't only have to play the game well, you had to play it RIGHT. The game is way more forgiving on the strategic layer than they make it sound. In my first game I had one full squad wipe and a couple more failed missions and didn't have the death spiral and later won the game.

You just need to have a good grip on everything that's going on. They make the strategic layer sound like a mess but it is no more complicated than your most basic worker-placement board game.Also the key to bringing rookies out to train and not getting creamed is giving them upgrades guns and experimental ammo/nades.

I'm with Badfinger on this, there's a lot of misremembering what XCOM: EU was like on launch day, which is a typical issue with Firaxis games in general because of all the patches and expansions that fix a bunch of things over time. I don't want to defend XCOM 2 too much because there is no question that a lot of important stuff in the game is just not explained at all, and feels like playing a complicated board game whose rules you've only quickly skimmed over only to realize several turns later that there were all these important mechanics you completely neglected.There are a lot of things about the satellite game from EU that were really unclear. Like you need satellite uplinks to launch satellites, but not to build them. And considering the time it would take to perform both those actions you could be playing the game in an extremely inefficient manner. There was also the issue that a lot of important economic resources could only be viewed in the black market screen. That later got fixed in an update, but the original EU experience was rough.Another example of the rose tinted glasses: the tutorial in EU also forced you to get squad members killed. Firaxis seems to really want to telegraph to players that you should expect soldiers to die, so they force that in the tutorial even if it is sub-optimal play.I also think rookies are way less useless in XCOM 2 compared to XCOM 1 just because when you upgrade your guns and armor, everyone gets that gear.

In XCOM:EU I found until fairly late in the game I wouldn't have the resources to kit out everyone in my squad, and so the rookies would get the short end of the stick and be stuck with the crappy gear. That's a huge improvement in my opinion.My experience with the strategic layer was a lot like Rob's when I first started playing the game. But now I'm realizing that it is pretty clear that a lot of designers that have worked with GMT games have been working with Firaxis because the strategy layer feels an awful lot like one of the COIN games. And crucially with those games there's a lot of randomness in them because of the card driven nature of the events that happen in the game, and they give you a lot of options about what kinds of resources and advantages you want to pursue, but you do need to figure that out quickly because you probably don't want to waste your time pursuing all those advantages in lieu of pursuing your actual objectives. And similarly there are a couple of different approaches you can take to reach your victory condition even if they aren't telegraphed in discrete types like in a game of Civ.Dave Heron's point that this is a messier design is correct, but I don't think that's a bad thing in this case. That's what most fans wanted: a game that wasn't as pristine and smooth, a game that was a lot fiddlier in a lot of ways (and thus more amenable to modding), and a game with a lot more randomness to it.

Firaxis delivered. If they sort out the performance issues for the game in my mind this is clearly the best version of XCOM to play. I love XCOM: EU, but the assertion that it onboarded you into understanding the strategic layer smoothly is the literal opposite of the experiences of me, everyone I know, and basically everyone online whose voices I heard who got their hands on the game. It was brutal because you didn't only have to play the game well, you had to play it RIGHT.I agree emphatically. Despite what Rob and Dave say in the episode, the only 'simple' decisions for a new player in XCOM: Enemy Unknown are how many satellites to build, where to launch them, and whether you got your base build order right.

At any difficulty beyond Easy, a failure to answer those questions correctly means a dead game walking, except you don't know it until the enemy's power curve had outpaced yours or you'd lost too many continents to continue. For all of XCOM 2's egregious failures to explain its basic systems, which you can see me complaining about in the game's thread on this forum, the Avatar Project is infinitely more forgiving than the continents' approval from the first XCOM. A lost continent is lost for good, but even when the Avatar Project is on countdown, barring a total failure to contact territories where retaliatory missions can be taken (as explained by tooltip), you can always recover from any level of mistake, failure, or inaction in XCOM 2. I personally took two months to actually act against the Avatar Project and I'm set to win my first campaign in the next few days. This episode felt a bit strange to listen to. I agree XCOM 2 doesn't adequately explain things (waypoints and los markers should have been in the tutorial specifically). However my main complaints have nothing to do with the strategic layer of the game, which is mostly enjoyable.

I feel that the addition of concealment is kind of half baked. In the later stages of the campaign I would frequently kill entire groups of aliens before they got a chance to act. While that is satisfying once, it quickly becomes monotonous as every battle ends up playing out exactly the same. It doesn't help that certain class combinations seem ridiculously powerful and a lot of the level up perk choices are basically no brainers. I don't think I'm alone in this either as I've read multiple comments on other sites saying that people weren't aware of what attacks some of the later aliens used, simply because it becomes too easy to kill them before they are able to respond.Also as an aside I miss MECs and I really dislike that they reduced them to what amounts to an extra grenade. Funny how you guys mention Civilization 5 Brave New World multiple victory conditions as an example of additional content being important.Because BNW is a great example of additional content for content sake. And one of those unnecessary things not affecting anything and just being there is XCOM squad.

It's an updated paratrooper unit, but it's so late in tech tree you won't see it in action unless this is your goal. No succesful strategy is ever concerned with existence of this unit. And there's other stuff as well, of course, like Archaelogy and other late-game prolonging stuff.

Wow, I just got to the end, where Dave calls XCOM 2 a 'bad game' that he plays because he's 'dumb' and 'flawed.' That is, uh.Honestly, as I said in another thread, there are some Three Moves Ahead episodes, especially ones where Rob as host really doesn't take to a game, that are classic examples of missing the forest for the trees, as one or more panelists get totally lost down the hole of listing every single little way that the game doesn't work for them, without putting forward a coherent critique of the game as a work or letting other panelists add their two cents in any other way than asking them, 'How could this specific design choice possibly be defensible?' The last episode like that, at least the last one that was as bad as this, was Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion, but here it's made egregiously worse by all hosts (except Rowan, by turns) totally forgetting how it was to play the 2012 game at launch. Seriously, 'There was a right answer to this mission and I just didn't get it' was one of the things said about XCOM 2 in contrast to Enemy Unknown, minutes before and after copping to 'move forward in a loose cluster and end every turn in overwatch' being the only way to play Enemy Unknown well.Dissonant criticism like that is what makes this such an odd episode to listen to. Between them, Rob and Dave's perennial complaints are 'there are too many choices in XCOM 2' and 'there is a correct choice in XCOM 2,' both of which are legacies of how the punishing linearity of the first game taught its players to play more than the actual reality of the sequel's broader design.

As Jonathan points out, there is a tangible split on the strategic layer between running an area-control take-every-mission strategy and running a leaner use-last-mission's-rewards-to-equip-the-next strategy, and I've seen players succeed with both. On the tactical level, there are very few instances of lemon choices among soldier skills (every class has a dichotomy that allows for specialization in one or a mix of both: sniper/gunslinger, infiltrator/assassin, support/demolitionist, healer/debuffer). I've been looking, because the game didn't grab me immediately, but I haven't been able to find a way that the game doesn't empower players infinitely more than the first game.

It's not often I listen to a 3MA podcast and profoundly disagree with the main conclusions of the panel (well, most of the panel) while agreeing with the vast majority of the observations made during the episode! At times I seriously wondered if we'd all been playing the same game or i have some weird copy that seemed to be using the same mechanics but had totally different outcomes.The thing that made my jaw drop was David Heron's statement that 'everything in this game apart from Armour and the Support Class is a step backwards from XCOM 1' - I have never heard anything on 3MA that I've disagreed with more.

Having said that, I completely agree with Rob and David's comments that the strategic layer in those early stages of the game is a mess and almost willfully goes out of its way not to explain it's mechanics to the players. However after 30 hours of playing (One failed attempt at Commander difficultly where I kept getting absolutely trashed in a plot mission just after I'd unlocked the second tier weapons, and one on Veteran that's progressing fine despite the myriad mistakes I've made throughout this play-through) and in the end I concluded that although the game really doesn't explain anything to the player it's really not that hard once you've got into the mid game to work out both what you should be doing, and how you should be doing it. What a hot topic.I think XCOM 2 is a lot of fun but I still struggle to understand what's going on with the economy. The game is still way to buggy to attempt an ironman run but hopefully they will roll out some patches soon.RE: The Economy. Maintaining a steady stream of supplies seems to be the most difficult task. There are so many different items and weapons you can buy this time around and definitely not enough supplies to manage them. Playing on anything above rookie it seems like you run out of money really fast.

Gotta get those supplies. I was also shocked at how much the panel seemingly hated the game. The rose tinted googles for XCOM EU is bizarre. I thought it led to a terrible discussion of the game, it felt like it was people who had played about 5 hours discussing it. They picked on the tiniest of things and blew them up like they were the most important thing ever.I've put about 30 hours into the game, I've never completed an XCOM game before and I'm about to start the final mission and I have never restarted this campaign. I also have a half filled Avatar countdown. At one point my Avatar countdown was at 11 and I was certain it was Game Over but I pulled things back.

It felt like many of the panel restarted as soon as there was any sort of set back because that's what you had to do in XCOM. You don't in XCOM 2, things might look grim but it's definitely possible to pull it back. It's not perfect and they touched on some genuine problems(hacking is a waste of time imo) but they got lost in the noise of 'XCOM 2 is a bad game.' .I agree that the game is incredibly lacking in polish and some of the bugs are very annoying. Vipers totally don't follow the rules and there's been plenty of times I've had the enemies blatantly cheat(moving, shooting, moving again) none of which I think is intentional.

The game just needed another few months to polish all of these things up. I agree that the game is incredibly lacking in polish and some of the bugs are very annoying.

Vipers totally don't follow the rules and there's been plenty of times I've had the enemies blatantly cheat(moving, shooting, moving again) none of which I think is intentional. The game just needed another few months to polish all of these things up.AAA games should not lack this much polish at launch.I feel like most of the criticism was for the strategic layer, which still is the weaker portion of the game. I am still enjoying the missions, especially since I installed the 'Stop Wasting My Time' mod. AAA games should not lack this much polish at launch.I feel like most of the criticism was for the strategic layer, which still is the weaker portion of the game. I am still enjoying the missions, especially since I installed the 'Stop Wasting My Time' mod.I think there's probably a complex story behind the current state of the game. Someone on the Steam forums mentioned that there's a 'fast load' option that's commented out of the.ini file 'by request of the art director,' so it sounds like some of the game's technical woes at launch are the result of the creative and technical teams clashing and the former winning out.Overall, a lot of this game's first impression seems emblematic of 'new' Firaxis: the shaky technical launch of Civilization V meets the patchy documentation, tutorialization, and UI of Civilization: Beyond Earth.

I've put about 30 hours into the game, I've never completed an XCOM game before and I'm about to start the final mission and I have never restarted this campaign. I also have a half filled Avatar countdown. At one point my Avatar countdown was at 11 and I was certain it was Game Over but I pulled things back. It felt like many of the panel restarted as soon as there was any sort of set back because that's what you had to do in XCOM.

You don't in XCOM 2, things might look grim but it's definitely possible to pull it back.I got that sense, too. The sheer number of times that Rob especially said some variant of '.and there's no way I was going to come back from that' had me wondering if he even tried with most of them or if he assumed (not without reason, given that they're games in the same series) that it would probably be as impossible in XCOM 2 as it was in Enemy Unknown. Someone on the Steam forums mentioned that there's a 'fast load' option that's commented out of the.ini file 'by request of the art director,' so it sounds like some of the game's technical woes at launch are the result of the creative and technical teams clashing and the former winning out.Damn it. If there were an option for a static load screen instead of the seamless 3D skyranger transitions, I'm sure my laptop would be a lot happier. The way they did it is cool in theory, but it takes so ridiculously long.Thanks to the current state of the game, I've stopped playing entirely, and I'm not going back until some patching happens.

Maybe I should see if I can get a refund in the meantime, in case they never sort it out. I do think that flaws such as camera glitches, frame rate dips, long load times etc should absolutely be criticised (particularly as they were so prevalent in the previous game and were the devs were well aware of how irritating they were to the player base).However, XCom2 is such a huge improvement in all other respects over its predecessor that it's blindingly obvious.

Just consider everything that has been added; new classes, skills, customisation, modding support, hacking, new and improved guerilla strategy, procedurally generated maps - this game leaves 2012's offering in its dust.That's what's so odd about the conversation here. I got the sense that the panellists all wanted to play on ironman from the start without investing the time to learn the game's systems and were then pissed off when the Inevitable wipes came.For strategy gamers well-versed in spending many hours with a game and learning it's nuances, this mindset of short-term gratification really surprised me.In my view the game is amazing. It needs a little tweaking and a few mods but in 6 months I think we'll regard Xcom2 as the one of the best 4 or 5 games out there.

“Is this a joke?” Victor asked as he caught sight of a new addition to the announcement board. He gave a questioning look to the others standing idly nearby and saw his own bewilderment reflected on their faces. Well, until I see Zhang or Harris, I guess there’s no way to confirm if this is legit or not, he thought as he looked back to the list that had been posted.To everyone who has been deployed to the Equestrian theater, I would advise that you remain on your best behavior so as to provide a good impression on our allies there. However, I am also becoming aware that there are certain situations which are beyond the norm of what can be reasonably expected, so I’ve composed a list of unusual scenarios that are to be avoided.Remember that we will be watching.Cmdr David BradfordThings XCOM Operatives are Not Allowed To Do (Foreign Deployment Edition)1.) Off duty personnel are encouraged to spend time with the natives so as to build both trust and friendship. However, there are noteworthy individuals and groups that require special handling.

1a.) The Equestrian known as Lyra Heartstrings has been banned from the facilities currently in use by deployed XCOM forces. If she is spotted within these restricted areas, do not interact with her. DO NOT Report her to security so that she may be escorted from the premises. 1ai.) Interaction within the castle grounds is not recommended with Lyra Heartstrings. 1ai1.) Interaction with Lyra Heartstrings anywhere not on this list is also right out.

STRONGLY ENCOURAGED!1b.) The small group of Equestrian children calling themselves the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’ are not to be engaged in any way, nor are they to be allowed near any of XCOM’s gear or equipment. These things are multi-million dollar instruments of war, not toys, gentlemen. 1bi.) This guideline is still in effect even if they say please. 1bi1.) Even if they promise not to touch anything. 1bi1a.) Puppy eyes are right out. 1bii.) The above rule has been updated to the following: In an effort to help morale, interaction with the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’ is permitted outside of restricted areas.

1bii1.) Effective immediately, all interaction with the Cutie Mark Crusaders will now be supervised by a responsible adult. Those who wish to file a complaint can do so with Pvt Redacted and his astonishing collection of hair dyes.

No, private, it doesn’t matter that they think the new colors are ‘totally radical’. 1bii1a.) Effective immediately, only those of Captain rank or higher are eligible for the ‘responsible adult’ position. 1bii1ai.) No, ranks are not additive.

Three Corporals do not equal a Captain. 1biii.) XCOM personnel are to cease referring to the Cutie Mark Crusaders as “Anarchy’s Children.” 1biii1.) Even out of hearing range of Equestrian personnel. 1biii2.) Even with translation amulets removed.

Some of our Equestrian partners are quite fluent in English.1c.) XCOM operatives are not to provoke the being known as Discord. You’re welcome to try. 1ci.) Despite his habit of bending the very fabric of reality to his whims, Discord is not Q. Stop referring to him as such. 1cii.) The fact that he sounds like John de Lancie may be purely coincidental, but more than likely he sounds like this on purpose. Remember, he is known to have been observing our planet, peoples, and cultures for who knows how long.

Things You Are Not Allowed To Do

1ciii.) Even if he claims he is. Seriously, you are really going to believe anything that comes out of his mouth? Actually, I claimed to be Mr. Mxyzptlk, but that’s comparing apples to road runners. 1ciii.) Even if he keeps conjuring Starfleet uniforms for XCOM personnel. 1civ.) And refers to Col. Van Doorn as Jean-Luc.

1cv.) XCOM personnel are to refrain from asking Discord to change their looks to match any figure from Earth popular culture, including but not limited to: Comic books, video games, books, movies, television, anime, myths, legends, etc. 1cv1.) Even if he agrees to it. 1cv2.) Especially if he agrees to it. 1cv3.) Just because Colonel Van Doorn got a laugh out of his transformation to look like Chuck Norris (circa-Delta Force) does not mean approval of transformation requests.2.) The specialists of the Mente Materia division are gifted with extraordinary abilities. Antagonize them at your own risk. 2a.) Calling them any name that might be construed as disrespectful falls under this.

This includes but is not limited to the following: Wizards, Mages, Houdini, Warlocks, Merlin. 2b.) The Mente Materia Specialists are not Psykers, either. They do not draw their power from the ‘Warp’, and asking them ‘Do you hear the voices too?’ is offensive. 2bi.) The incident with Captain Harris was due to faulty equipment malfunctioning in the new environment.

2bii.) If you or anyone in your squad begins to hear voices, please report to the nearest officer for psychological and psionic screening. 2c.) Among other things, Captain Harris has the ability to alter the speed in which his body processes information, which slows or stops time from his perspective. This power was not gained from any sort of stone mask, and he doesn’t have to shout, ‘ZA WARUDO!’ to use it, either. Nobody gets the reference, so stop it.

2d.) Effective immediately, soldiers are prohibited from challenging Lieutenant Yuri Romalov to any kind of contest involving physical contact. This includes but is not limited to: arm wrestling, thumb wrestling, actual wrestling of any kind, or any kind of fighting. This will be its own punishment. 2di.)Even if you think you can take him. 2di1.)Especially if you think you can take him.

2di1a.)Okay people, let me spell it out. There is no way for you to physically harm Lt. Romalov barehanded.

His gift allows him to redirect and amplify physical force. When you punch him in the face and break your arm, that’s him restraining himself.

2e.) Effective immediately, Lieutenant Yuri Romalov is prohibited from challenging other soldiers to physical contests of any kind. I should not have to be spelling this out. 2ei.) Even if you think they can take it. 2ei1.) Especially if you think they can take it.

2ei1a.) As the threat of punishment has done little to deter this behavior, incentive will be offered instead. For every month that Lt. Romalov doesn’t render a fellow soldier into an invalid, he will be given his choice of alcoholic beverage from Earth. Violating this rule revokes the incentive in its entirety from then on. 2f.) Yes, Specialist Matt Hawkins was a former police officer.

Things Xcom Is Not Allowed To Do

Yes, his gift allows him to generate electric currents at will. Yelling ‘don’t taze me bro!’ at him is not funny. 2fi.) It is funny, however, watching those who do not follow this rule lose control of motor, bowel, and bladder functions due to electric shock. Consider this justified punishment.3.) In this solar system, the sun really does revolve around the planet. Stop getting into arguments over this.4.) Drawing on the faces of active MEC troopers is not permitted. 4a.) Due to security upgrades overseen by Princess Twilight, attempting to sneak into MEC trooper medical bays to violate this rule will be its own punishment.

4b.) Drawing faces on inactive MEC combat frames is also not permitted.5.) Using MEC combat frames for Minotaur wrestling is not considered an appropriate use of time and resources.6.) Captain Harris is asked to stop making ‘the noises’ when swinging his sword. It is a Griffonian relic gifted by the High Talon himself, and should be treated with respect. 6a.) Despite Cpt. Harris’ claims, sound effects do not improve the cutting power of the blade.7.)XCOM operatives are not to use the Wallflower armor for general mischief.

Things Xcom Is Not Allowed To Download

7a.)Do not claim that ‘a wizard did it.’ The wizards on loan from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns are professionals. 7b.)Blaming your shenanigans on “the ghost of Lana Jenkins” is immature and highly tasteless.

7bi.)The telekinesis incident in Cpt. Harris’ quarters is not to be cited as proof of your claims. 7c.)The Wallflower armor does not fool base security cameras. We have you on film.8.)XCOM personnel referring to Major Renfeld as ‘the wicked witch’ will be subject to disciplinary action.

8a.)XCOM personnel are to report to Maj. Renfeld in the training room for their disciplinary action.9.) If your idea involves using Equestrians as mounted units, don’t. 9a.) Even if it was their idea.10.) Stop telling XCOM rookies that the Minotaur Toys are the size of action figures.

10a.) Stop placing action figures around sleeping rookies and then shaking them awake to 'save their lives.' 10b.) Stop convincing rookies that said action figures can only move when they aren't directly within view. Pvt Redacted had to be taken to medical after staring at the action figure left beside his pillow for sixteen straight hours. 10c.) Effective immediately, all action figures are to be confiscated as contraband, and any caught in possession of one will be locked in the storage closet with all of the confiscated action figures for the night.11.) The Equestrian device known as a ‘party cannon’ is not rated for combat.

Heavy weapons operatives are not to bring party cannons in place of standard XCOM rocket launchers. 11a.) Following the success of Operation Spectral Laughter, party cannons are being tested for use as standard XCOM equipment.

11b.) XCOM rocket launchers are not to be retrofitted to operate as party cannons. 11bi.) For the love of God, do NOT give Pinkie Pie a rocket launcher!12.) The Kaleidoscope platforms are finely tuned pieces of arcano-scientific machinery with no history of malfunctions. Stop telling rookies about 'all of the horrible transporter accidents.' 12a.) The phrase ‘no history of malfunctions’ doesn’t mean that the malfunctions weren’t recorded.

12ai.) The above rule does not imply that such malfunctions actually occurred and were covered up. 12ai1.) The next individual caught perpetuating this rumor will be reassigned to ferry cargo to and from Earth to the field daily via Kaleidoscope.13.) Do not engage in staring contests with the royal guards on duty. 13a.) Do not attempt to provoke the royal guards on duty into flinching. 13ai.) Especially do not encourage this behavior in the Element Bearer known as Rainbow Dash.14.) Stop telling rookies that the castle’s statue garden is filled with the victims of Princess Twilight. This is only true of the petrified aliens in the Mente Materia storage closet. 14a.) Stop telling rookies that there are statues of humans in the Mente Materia storage closet.

14ai.) Stop locking rookies in the Mente Materia storage closet. 14aii.) Access to the Mente Materia storage closet is now restricted to authorized personnel only.15.) Stop accusing XCOM operatives of being changelings. The changelings are our allies. Van Doorn is not being mind controlled by the changelings.

The outwards signs of changeling mind control are easily recognized and include: glowing green eyes, slurred speech and physical exhaustion. 15ai.) Showing up an hour late to muster with slurred speech, physical exhaustion and bloodshot eyes does not mean you have just broken free of changeling mind control. It means you have a hangover and will be punished as such.

You know who you are. 15b.) Stop telling rookies only the blood test from The Thing can identify a changeling. 15c.) There will be absolutely no 'fraternizing' with changelings.16.) Ingesting large amounts of sugar in an effort to gain Pinkie Pie’s supernatural abilities will not work. Studies have shown no link between her talents and her diet, except perhaps that she is somehow able to survive it. 16a.) You will not be excused from duty while recovering from these ‘attempts.’17.) The Nightcrawler armor does not enable the wearer to crawl up walls.

17a.) Nor does it make you an X-Man. 17ai.) Nor does it give you a German accent. 17ai1.) No, Dr. Vahlen is not considered proof that the previous point is wrong.18.) Personnel are not to test the strength of Titan armor against bucks from an earth pony.

Violators will be confined to the brig after their release from the medbay.19.) Giving Equestrians peanut butter was only funny the first time. 20.) The following phrases are banned on and around the base: 20a.) 'So hungry I could eat a horse' 20b.) 'Kicks like a mule' 20b.) 'I'm rubber, you're glue”21.) Shouting 'COME AT ME BRO' when engaging Revenants is now prohibited. While it has proven effective, operatives are to be reminded that their battlefield comms are recorded. 21a.) Insults regarding their mothers are right out.22.) Soldiers are responsible for having their armor ready at all times.

They are not to loan their equipment to Rarity for “alterations.” 22a.) Even if it does fit better afterwards. 22b.) Sequins are not “disruptive camouflage.”23.) We've been getting reports of a possible new breed of the Thin Men.

Reports say they resemble humans with pastel skin tones and hair resembling the Equestrians'. If you see one, notify command immediately.24.) Stop using LANC rifles to poke holes in the wall between the locker rooms.25.) Attention base personnel: some of the confetti cannons set up by Pinkie Pie for the last office mixer are still unaccounted for. Upon finding one, notify central so we can dispatch a cleanup team.26.) Please observe a half-hour time limit when brushing Fluttershy's hair. She's a grown mare and you all have work to do.27.) Stop asking the teleportation staff for teleports to and from the barracks.28.) Disregard rule 30, The Starswirl the Bearded wing is OFF LIMITS.29.) After-action reports should not be in the form of a letter to the princesses. 29a.) Nor should they be letters to your commanding officer. 29ai.) Just to be clear, your after action reports are not to be in letter format to anyone.

We have proper stationery for this sort of thing, and it is to be hand delivered to your CO.30.) The Starswirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot archives will be made available to researchers on a trial basis starting next Tuesday.31.) Stop giving the phoenix’s caretaker duty to rookies near the end of her life cycle.32.) Under no circumstances are XCOM personnel to make “Pinkie Promises” to the Element Bearer, Pinkamena Diane Pie. 32a.) We cannot stress this rule enough. 32ai.) Should anyone be foolish enough to make one, then they need to follow through with the promise. Failure to do so will not be met with any disciplinary action from XCOM. The punishment you will receive from Pinkie will make you wish we did. 32aii.) Do not ask XCOM officers to help you back out of a promise if you make one.

32aii1.) Nor fellow soldiers. 32aii2.) Nor any high-ranking members of the Equestrian government and its allies - Princess Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Queen Chrysalis, High Talon Alvar, etc. 32aii3.) Nor any members of the Elements of Harmony.

They will only laugh. 32aii4.) Nor Discord. The fact you won’t receive help from a being of his immense power should be warning enough. 32aiii.) Note that this should not be confused for the grade school level practice of making a promise with one’s ‘pinky’ fingers.

One requires the use of linking pinkies, the other requires a complicated set of gestures with rhyming words. 32aiii1.) Both are childish and will be recorded for posterity.33.) Do not tell the rookies that ‘unicorn horns are made of candy’. Their horns are made of bone. 33a.) We are trying to set an example of professionalism, not look like escapees from a mental asylum.

33ai.) Even if they offer (like Lyra Heartstrings has tried). Dragon ball z resurrection f watch. 33ai1.) Especially if they offer (doubly so for Lyra Heartstrings).

33aii.) Nor are they erogenous zones because, again, they are just bone. I can’t believe I have to stress this point. 33aii1.) Not that kind of bone. Stop giggling. 33aiii.) Anyone caught daring/betting/forcing a rookie to do so will be met with swift punishment from XCOM.

33aiii1.) Same goes for doing so to a higher ranking officer. Blackmailing an officer is a punishable offense regardless of what you’re trying to make them do. 33aiii1a.) Bribery is right out. 33aiv.) Anyone caught doing so of their own volition will be hit with telekinesis, electricity, fire, or other forms of reactionary self defense from the offended unicorn.

This will be considered sufficient punishment, though we will still put you in the brig just to drive home the point.34.) XCOM troops will refrain from singing on missions. 34a.) After being informed by Princess Twilight Sparkle that songs spontaneously break out from time to time due to Magically Induced Musical Harmonizing (MIMH), previous incidents will be forgiven and extra days of leave will be issued to those formerly punished. 34ai.) In light of the incident in Trottingham referred to as “The Stand of the Flying Circus”, the single “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” will be allowed to be sung again.35.) Password protecting computing devices is mandatory for all operatives to avoid leaking sensitive information either pertaining to the XCOM organization or a soldier's personal information. 35a.) To the XCOM soldier who left their PDA unlocked and unattended, please be sure to password lock it in the future. We do not wish to explain what “Rule 34” is ever again to any more curious ponies.

35ai.) On a related note, any anime/manga rated G to PG-13 should be forwarded to Fluttershy, as she has shown an interest in them.36.) Dr. Shen and the engineering teams we’ve procured from around the globe have worked hard to produce the various weapons, armors, tools, and other equipment that have helped save the lives of our operatives in the field. Requisition the use of approved LANCs and Excaliburs that they have manufactured, not the medieval melee weapons they are named after.

36a.) Soldiers will also not requisition the locals for their lances or swords. The ponies’ weaponry is just regular steel, the griffons are very secretive about the production of their skysteel armaments, and the minotaurs won’t part with their Hoplite armor/shields even to settle lost wagers. 36ai.) Should weapons or armor from the latter two groups mentioned above come into your ownership through legal means they will be confiscated to be studied by Shen and his crew to aid the war efforts. 36ai1.) This doesn’t mean to suggest or approve of you acquiring/keeping them through illegal means.

Such activity will be met with criminal punishment by whichever group wishes to try you on top of your court martial. 36b.) Even if you have extensive training with medieval weapons. 36i.) I shouldn’t even have to be this specific. I’ve reviewed the qualifications of every soldier deploying to the field, and none of you have ‘extensive training’. 36ii.) Fighting a Muton with nothing but a regular bladed weapon will lead to nothing more than a bloody end and an embarrassing obituary, not an awesome moment that will make you ‘YouTube famous’. 36c.) Captain Harris is an exception to this rule as his skysteel blade was gifted to him by the High Talon as a sign of respect. 36ci.) It is not because he is secretly a ninja, samurai, Sith or Jedi master.

36ci1.) He is not ‘The Highlander’, ‘Geralt of Rivia’, ‘Brave Fencer Musashi’, ‘Cloud Strife’, or ‘Link - The Hero of Time’ either.37.) Dragons are our allies in this war. All XCOM personnel will refrain from insulting or annoying them. This also includes mentioning historical figures (both real and fictional) from various Earth cultures and faiths who have been credited as ‘dragonslayers’ including but not limited to: Saint George, Archangel Michael, Zeus, Heracles/Hercules, Beowulf, Sigurd, Bard the Bowman, Natsu Dragneel, etc. 37a.) “But I was just testing the Titan Armor’s fire proofing” is not a valid excuse for doing so. 37ai.) Offering them a mint for their bad case of dragon’s breath is also not a valid excuse. 37b.) There is indeed a dragon named Puff. No, he does not know of a land called Honalee.

37bi.) He has stated he does not like frolicking in the autumn mist as it messes with his sinuses. 37bii.) His definition of ‘fancy stuff’ he enjoys does not include strings and sealing wax. 37biii.) Stop trying to make Private Jack Papers befriend him. The private’s herpetophobia (a fear of lizards and frogs) has evolved to include drakonophobia (a fear of dragons). 37c.) Saying “Here there be dragons” with a thick pirate accent whenever pointing at a map of their territory only made the dragons laugh once.

They are getting fed up with it as much as the rest of us. 37ci.) Matriarch Shirogane, however, would like to personally thank the soldier who uttered “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup” in her presence for, she quotes: “I haven’t laughed that hard in centuries.”38.) The baby dragon who is the assistant/little brother-figure to Princess Twilight Sparkle and a dragon of interest to matriarch Shirogane is named Spike. He is a valued member of the Equestrian community who will be treated with respect.

38a.) His nickname is not Barney. 38ai.) Barney is man or woman in a six foot tall purple with green costume portraying a fictitious tyrannosaurus rex. Spike is a three foot tall, purple with green scale covered flesh and blood real dragon. So yes, there is a difference. 38ai1.) One sings and dances on TV to entertain children for educational TV. The other breathes fire and can bite through a diamond the same way you can bite through an apple.

Take a guess which one you don’t want mad at you. Placeholder!Edit:April fools, folks! I had a lot of fun with this chapter, mainly because it was a collaboration with my editors! Over the past few weeks we've been going back and forth with suggestions and edits and such, and it's been a blast.To those of you who were expecting a more substantial chapter, rejoice! I'm halfway done with the next 'real' Mente Materia chapter, and if I put my nose to the grindstone I may be done by next weekend.Edit 2: Also, apologies for the current appearance of the list.

It seems that fimfiction does -not- like lists. Attempting to import the doc resulted in one massive wall of text. I had to add all of the bullets manually. 39.) XCOM personnel are discouraged from engaging in 'best pony' arguments. 39a.) Even if it's to carry favor to a particular pony. 39ai.) Especially if it's to carry favor to a particular pony.

39aii.) Even more so if the pony in question encourages it. 39aiii.) Double if the pony in question is Lyra Heartstrings. 39b.) This also applies to all other Equestrian species.

(dragons, changelings, griffons, etc.) 39c.) These rules have no bearing on arguments on 'worst alien' or 'ways to torture EXALT scumbags/aliens'. Though such discussions should be kept as private and out of public as much as possible. 39ci.) No, we will not be implementing any of the torture methods brought up by the aforementioned discussions. We have professionally trained interrogators for that purpose already and they do not need your advice on how to do their jobs.40.) XCOM personnel are forbidden from making games, challenges, or making sport of killing aliens or EXALT operatives using extravagant ways, trick shots, or some other ill-conceived method on XCOM operations. This is real life, not a video game.

There are no 'achievements' to be earned from doing so, except for a Darwin Award should you get killed for trying. 40a.) Keep in mind there is no 'reset button' for this 'game.' 40ai.) That particular ability belongs solely to Cmdr.

Bradford to be used at his discretion. So, nothing about Zebras. Also speaking of horses, when are we going to see the Arabian Horses since they are a nation allied to Equestria, or at least they are in cannon since season 3. I can see one of the rules for the Horses be this: 39.) Don't Sign 'Arabian Night.' No one got the joke the first time and the last thing we need is more horses thinking of turning a Disney Song into their national anthem.Also wonder if the Yaks will show up with a rule being 40. The Yaks Are Easy to Provoke, Avoid Talking To Them At All Cost. 40a.) If that is unavoidable, then your screwed and we wish you the best of luck.

1ci.) Despite his habit of bending the very fabric of reality to his whims, Discord is not Q. Stop referring to him as such. 1cii.) The fact that he sounds like John de Lancie may be purely coincidental, but more than likely he sounds like this on purpose. Remember, he is known to have been observing our planet, peoples, and cultures for who knows how long. 1ciii.) Even if he claims he is. Seriously, you are really going to believe anything that comes out of his mouth? Actually, I claimed to be Mr.

Mxyzptlk, but that’s comparing apples to road runners.This was probably my favorite of the entire list for the nostalgia factor. I'm a big fan of Superman: The Animated Series from the late 90's and Gilbert Gottfried's performance as Mr.

Mxyzptlk was absolutely killer.Come to think of it, this story's version of Discord may have more in common with Mr. Mxyzptlk than he'd care to admit.

Aside from the immense reality warping, there's the pathological obsession with creating chaos for those they deem beneath them, manipulative head games, compulsion to undo specific individuals (i.e. Superman and Twilight Sparkle). Discord would probably argue, vehemently no doubt, that his actions force others to adapt and he manages to get away with his antics while Mxyzptlk simply toys with others for his amusement and ends up punished for it. The already has this rule covered.Noo, don't die, Fluttershy will just cry harder!All's fair in love and war, and the changelings are just too good at both.Ah. Misread that.ayyThose who play with the Spirit of Chaos' toys are brought by degrees to wield his bicycle horn.HONK.All rules appearing in this work are fictitious.

Any resemblance to real fictional persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.Huh, I could have sworn that wasn't there the first time I read it.Oh yes, please post that.I must admit, these bipedal creatures with such distinctive Equestrian features are surprisingly unsettling.